Vice Admiral John Jefferson
Host CO Serenity Crew
Klingons rule.
Posts: 39
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John stared in to the middle distance for a few moments before even considering his reply, one on one interaction like this made keeping the facqade even more difficult. In a large group he could keep himself straight, yet with a single person he always felt like being open.
He shook his head and looked back at Rolf "Once, although it's hard to imagine. I was a lowly Lieutenant Junior Grade."
Lifting his glass he stared through the murky liquid watching it settle a few minutes passed in silence, eventually he took a sip of his drink and continued.
"It was the best day of my life, being promoted and being given my own flight to look after. I was the shining start of my squadron." A small sigh escaped his lips "I thought I was god's gift to Starfleet and then"
John paused again and peered in to his glass as if looking for the answer to lifes questions or maybe as if he was looking for the words to say.
"Three weeks later, two members of my flight were killed in the line of duty. My most joyous moment became my darkest hour. For weeks I wracked my brains trying to figure how how I let the pilots I was responsible for die. I even attempted to resign my commission out of the shame and pain I felt."
"I can still remember the words my squadron CO said to me, 'John' he said 'command is a pregnant dog
, and the further up the chain you go the bigger pregnant dog
it will become'"
John took a sip of his pint as he let the words sink in to Rolf's brain.
"And he was right too, as all Commanding Officers worth their salt are. It never got easier, the higher I go the more I have to sacrifice to see my job done"
He turned to look Rear Admiral Emerson directly in the eyes "November last year I was forced to send a Starfleet vessel to apprihend one of my closest friends. He simply drifted too far from the rules. I had hoped he could be apprehended without much fuss, but thats not how it came about."
The words choked John as he said them, eventually managed to force the words out.
"I gave the order that made a Starship captain blow his ship from the stars, it's only later we found out his family and a group of civilians were onboard too. But letting him escape with the knowledge he had couldn't be allowed to happen."
He took another sip of his drink
"So, no command gets no easier. Today I sit here with the weight of those deaths and many many more on my shoulders. I simply wish most days I could be an ensign again just flying my fighter in to hot zones and doing what my CO says."
"All I'm left with is the knowledge that I am making the Federation a better place, hundreds of thousands of people could have died if Mansfield had escaped, as it was and I know this is a cruel thing to say, the loss of 50 innocent lives is a small price to pay."
"You see thats what rising through the ranks has made me, a murderer in effect. Trading the lives of people I'll never meet, except in my haunted dreams."
John stopped speaking realising once agian he'd had been too open, darn
these one on one chats. darn
Duerkes and the others on the station for bringing betleH here.
Worst of all darn
Taylor for not doing what he should have done back on the Reagan.
"I think the answer to your question is a simple no"
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A drink in Zoomie Land (Read 688 times)
